Happy Raven
by Kayasuri-n
Summary: Birthday Fic for Lamb. Raven's wearing pink. Stalking Beast Boy. Just another day in Titan's Tower. Messed up humor attempt.


**Oddities**

The first warning they had was at breakfast. She wasn't the first person there, sipping her herbal tea and reading a book. Nor was she second, coming in after Robin had his toast and coffee, reading the newspaper. No, she came in after the meat vs. tofu argument was up and roaring.

"Your ears are cute, Beast Boy," she said, getting a bowl of the 'sugar filled cardboard pretending to be edible food' and digging in. She was, apparently, oblivious to the sudden silence that had fallen over the group. Or, in fact, the chaos that had happened just after she spoke.

Robin had spat a mouthful of coffee into Starfire's face (she'd forgive him, considering the circumstances), Starfire's arm had jerked and part of the table was now lying on the floor, Cyborg was running an internal diagnostic, trying to figure out what circuit had broken where, while Beast Boy…

Beast Boy had fainted.

"What's wrong with him?" Raven poked the unconscious boy with her foot. "Taking a nap?"

"Sure…" Robin nodded, and backed away as much as his seat would allow. "That's right…"

Raven smiled, and started humming.

0O0

She was watching TV. And laughing. Raven did _not_ laugh, or watch TV. She said the TV melted your brains. It was something she often threw at Beast Boy. And Beast Boy would always ignore her.

But Raven did not watch TV, unless she had no choice or it was an 'intelligent show'.

Cyborg had always wondered just _how_ Mythbusters was an intelligent show, when things blew up. Every. Single. Time.

Did it matter? She was watching a show that, normally, Beast Boy watched. At the moment, however, four of the five titans were sitting at the somewhat battered kitchen table, casting horrified glances over at the empath, before looking back at each other.

"Dude, did monkeys take over her brain?" Beast Boy whimpered, hunching his shoulders. Or maybe, the part of his brain devoted to making everything his fault whispered, you interrupted her meditation one too many times and broke her _mind_.

Cyborg shook his head. "The scans I managed seem to be normal," he muttered. "It's not a physical problem, anyway."

"So… mental. But how do we fix that?" Robin looked over his shoulder and blanched. She wasn't on the couch anymore…

"Whee!"

Beast Boy shrieked.

"Oh, what's wrong BB? Hey, sit down!"

"No touchy the ears!"

Beast Boy ran off, Raven flying after him.

"Perhaps, friends, Raven has hit the dreaded gagnant ont moquette."

That… sounded about as logical as anything else today….

0O0

Beast Boy was hiding. Small, fuzzy, and rather cute, in the _last_ place Raven would ever go.

Starfire's bedroom.

He had gotten permission of course- he wasn't completely stupid, and he only invaded Raven's room without permission, and he couldn't help himself then! Starfire had told him to go ahead, seeing how he was twitching and trying to keep an eye everywhere at once.

So here he was, a small, green kitten huddled under Starfire's bed, sharing the space with Silky which wasn't a very safe thing at all, but better then the weirdness that had taken over Raven.

The door opened and oh no oh no not this please not this _not the ears not the ears_- oh.

Raven threw open Starfire's closet and… giggled. She turned her head, and Beast Boy backed up further under the bed and the oversized, deranged expression on her face.

She was… _smiling_.

Yup, something was really wrong in the world.

"You sure you don't mind, Starfire?"

"Not at all, friend Raven who is not herself this morn. You may help yourself." Starfire floated in after Raven, hands clasped in front of her chest. She glanced around the room, obviously searching for… something. What, though, was debatable.

"Oh, goodie! Hm…" Raven leaned back, finger tapping on her chin. "I don't think I'm a mini skirt type, do you?"

Beast Boy struggled not to whimper.

"Ah… no, friend. Perhaps a pair of the jeans?"

Raven nodded, hair flopping about her face. "Oh, yes! Jeans and a shirt!" And then she giggled again. "We'll have to do our nails, you know."

Beast Boy started to creep out from under the bed. Just a few… feet… more…

"Ah! So cute!"

No!

Raven crushed Beast Boy to her chest, not even noticing when he was no longer a kitten. "Cute ears!"

"Ah! Star, help!"

0O0

Bedecked in one of Starfire's jeans, a neon pink shirt, and numerous hair ribbons, Raven lounged on one part of the couch of Titan's tower. Starfire relaxed on the other half, wads of cotton between her toes.

Raven was busy turning her fingernails yellow. Starfire was working on turning her toenails pink.

They were happy.

"You know," Raven said, "Red X has a major crush on you."

Starfire's hand jerked, and almost upset the bottle of nail polish. "Pardon?"

"He's so obvious about it! A major case of puppy love, you know…"

"Me? But… but I dislike him so!"

Raven glanced over and smiled. It was as disturbing as the first time that morning. "So let him down easily."

"How?" Starfire looked around the common room, biting her lip. If Robin heard, well…

"I dunno." Raven turned back to her nails. "Punch him or something. Doesn't Tamaran have any ways to get rid of unwanted crushes?"

Starfire sighed. "I do not believe they are the same as here on Earth, Raven. The removal of body parts… is most serious."

Raven nodded. "I understand. Well…" She eyed one nail, and glanced back up at Starfire. "Then you can just let Robin defend your honor. He'd probably be giddy at the very thought!"

Starfire, wisely, said nothing.

Raven rolled over, until her head was dangling off the couch and her feet were in the air. "Slade's creepy," she said.

Starfire nodded and moved onto the next food. "Most assuredly he is. His obsession with Robin is… unsettling."

Raven snorted. "You think that's weird? Try having him practically strip you of all your clothes just so he can tell you you're going to end the world. Now _that's_ disturbing!"

Starfire blinked. "I was not aware of that part of the torment you were put through, friend. I apologize."

"That's okay. I was pretty disgusted and didn't want to talk about it." Raven giggled. "Oh, look at my fingers! Now I just have to let this dry… Can I do my toes the same as you?"

Starfire pushed the bottle of nail polish over. "If I may have the yellow for my fingers."

Raven passed the bottle over, and they sat in silence for a moment.

"I bet Slade's gay."

"Pardon, Raven? How do you mean that? Extremely happy or…" Starfire blushed.

"The second one. Why else does he chase after Robin so much?" Raven wiggled her toes, and tilted her head. "You know, you should… I don't know, deal with him. Robin's yours after all. Slade shouldn't be chasing after your boyfriend."

Starfire's face turned a deeper shade of red. "Ah… Robin and I are not an… item, so to speak…"

"But he has the hots for you, you can just see it." Raven sighed. "It's very romantic."

"It… is?"

"Um hm…" Raven nodded. "It is. Poor boy can't understand anything subtle though… probably why he thinks Slade wants him just as an apprentice… probably good for his sanity, but not for his romance life. You should give him a clue or something. Love letters are good… So is stalking him in the hallways without him noticing…" Raven giggled.

Starfire decided not to comment on that. "So… why did you, ah… Beast Boy…"

"His ears are cute. They twitch, did you know that?" Raven grinned. "I don't know how anyone can resist them… I can't."

Starfire cleared her throat. "You do the… stalking of Beast Boy in the hallway?"

Raven shook her head, then paused. "I should," she said, oblivious to Starfire's horror struck look. "It's very useful, being able to phase through walls. I might as well."

0O0

"We can't do that, Beast Boy." Robin frowned. "No matter how much we may want to."

"_Please_! I'm begging here!" Beast Boy clung to Robin's ankle with one hand, and Cyborg's with the other. "She's really starting to creep me out! What if she's broken or something? We've gotta at least _check_!"

"B, checking doesn't normally include tying her up, figuring out some way to keep her powers from working, and then locking her in a closet." Cyborg lifted Beast Boy up by the scruff of his neck. "Have you considered asking what's wrong? I bet she'd tell you, you know?"

Beast Boy paled to mint green. He made a horrible rattling sound in his throat, and his eyes grew wide.

Cyborg rolled his human eye. "Guess not," he said to Robin. The Boy Wonder just nodded, arms folded over his chest.

"Hey, has anyone seen Beast Boy?"

Robin and Cyborg stiffened. Both of them looked at Cyborg's upheld hand- it was empty.

"Ah… can't say that we have, Raven. Why do you want to know?"

Raven chuckled. "Why else?" She rocked on her heels. "I want to talk to him…" Her expression, however, spoke otherwise. Cyborg prayed that his friend had managed to find a really, really good hiding place.

"Well, he's not here, so… Maybe you should check his room?"

"Did. He's not there, or on the roof, or out on the rocks, or anywhere else in the Tower. He has to be here." Raven peered around Cyborg's shoulder. "You're absolutely sure he's not here? I can sense him…"

"Ah hah… Rae, why don't you uh… I dunno, meditate or something? I mean… Uh… You don't seem really… level today, you know?"

Raven blinked up at Cyborg. "Meditation's boring." She brightened. "I know, how 'bout we play a video game!"

She grabbed his wrist and hauled him off.

Beast Boy seemed to pop into existence. "She's gone?"

Robin nodded. "She's gone."

Beast Boy swallowed. "She's not going to keep this up all day, right?"

0O0

It was evening. An entire day spent hiding from Raven and Beast Boy was exhausted.

Was this how she felt normally? Hunted like an animal, trapped at every turn, unable to get away from him always there staring at her? With a corny joke and a smile and just plain annoying?

Beast Boy flinched, and vowed then and there to give Raven the space she so desired if she would just get back to normal!

"Beast Boy!"

It didn't sound like she was normal just yet.

Too tired to struggle, he stared down at the violet head currently at shoulder level. "Ah… Hi Rae. Um… uh…"

She let go. And then she attacked his ears.

Beast Boy stiffened as her fingers rubbed against the points of his ears, then down to just behind them…

He was halfway to turning into a dog and dying in heaven. Until the sensible part of him kicked in and told him to stop drooling, pull his tongue back into his mouth, and to be a gentleman for once in his life.

"Ah, Rae… You know, you might want to stop." Beast Boy pushed Raven away, careful to be gentle and keep his hands on her shoulders so she wouldn't leap at him again.

"Why?" She looked hurt. He really hated that.

"Well… You're obviously not yourself today, Rae, and… well, I won't lie and say that didn't feel good, but…"

Raven giggled. "Just like a dog, huh? You like your ear scratchies."

Beast Boy tried to hide the horror that had just hit him at the last two words spoken, and fumbled for what to say next.

"Ah… yeah, something like that. You know what, Rae? Go to bed. I'll still be here in the morning… and you'll probably feel more like yourself… and I'll apologize for anything I've done and all that… and everything will be back to normal, okay?"

Raven studied him, frowning. Then she smiled. "Okay!" She batted one finger at his nose. "But no running away in the middle of the night, okay cute ears?"

Beast Boy made a strangled sound, but nodded. At that point, he would have agreed to anything, so long as there was a chance that maybe Raven might turn out to be normal in the morning.

Raven flew off to her room, making sure to wave at Beast Boy before phasing through her window, while the changeling started to slam his head against a rock.

_And to think,_ he thought, _I wanted her to cheer up! Nuh uh, not any more!_

0O0

It was morning.

Raven noticed this, and did her best to ignore the fact. She kept her eyes clenched shut, as much against the bright light shining through her window- _why's it open?_- as against the pounding headache currently drumming on her skull.

The more awake she became, though, the more she remembered of the day before. Her eyes flew open, and she cast one horrified glance over at the pair of jeans and the shirt she had borrowed from Starfire.

_It wasn't a nightmare, oh Azar, it was **real**!_

She looked up at the door, and then narrowed her eyes.

Well… at least she hadn't spouted anything other then Beast Boy's ears being cute… And they'd probably think it was just the strangeness that had taken over her mind…

_Happy_, Raven thought-growled at the emotion, _you and I are going to have a very, very **long** talk…_

And in Raven's mind, Happy giggled.

**End Notes**

_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAMBBABY!**_

Okay everyone, join me in singing the birthday girl a happy day! A one and a two and a three… _Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you look like a monkey, and you live in a zoo_… I'm not entirely sure that's how it goes, but who cares?

Heh… I have no experience with girl talk, obviously, and writing Rae/Happy was pretty hard for me, you'll probably notice. Still, this is one of my longer One Shots, and I can't think of a better reason then a present for a friend.

So, Lamb, you have Raven obsessing over Beast Boy's ears, and to a lesser extent, pink. Happy?


End file.
